Praying for Wednesday

Wow, I meant to update this on Friday but how distracting these last few days 'til today have been! I took the trigger shot on Friday night at the exact time I was supposed to take it. Later that evening my breasts were tender but I think that was the extent of the side effects. Started doxycycline (antibiotic) prior to egg retrieval which was today.

And they got a whopping (weak drum roll please) 3 EGGS! Seems that I had more follicles than eggs, totally surprised me. I honestly thought they'd get as many eggs as I had follicles. And I won't know until tomorrow whether these eggs were able to be fertilized. I'm scheduled for a Day 4 transfer, which my quick Google research says is as good as a Day 5 transfer. I start Endometrin tonight and I also start taking Estrace. I am salty though that my doctor didn't come talk to me after the retrieval. Every other procedure I have had my doctors have always come to me and provided information so I could be reassured and informed. It was the nurse instead who relayed the 3-egg status.

In Jesus name I pray that my 3 little eggs are mature and get fertilized and become healthy morulas that are transferred on Wednesday and develop into healthy babies that I will birth and raise and love.

This post-anesthesia nausea I'm dealing is no joke! I'm going to lay it down and take it easy, leaving all this in God's hands.

Onto the Ganirelix

Things are progressing! I was initially concerned that the follicular development wouldn't be where they ought to be at the 8 day mark. I was just glad to hear what seemed like good news. I wish I could report what was seen on the ultrasound but as quickly as he mentioned the number on the right and left was how quickly it flew out my brain. But my doctor was pleased with the progress and I was able to start Ganirelix yesterday. Weird little pre-filled syringe and that needle's a mess -- it's slightly thicker and a bit duller. Damn near had to stab myself to get the needle in; did I mention how proud I am to be able to do these shots myself?

I was going to write an update yesterday but I still haven't been able to shake the constant fatigue. And whereas in the last week I've been eating like a baby bear, today I had zero appetite.

Even writing this I feel my eyes closing shut... so I'm going to oblige them. Good night, sweet dreams.

START SIDENOTE
And to Khaddafy, you smarmy, wicked bastard: Kick rocks.
And take that murderous f*cker in Syria with you.
END SIDENOTE

Exhausted

This week I thought I was tired due to my cycle wrapping up plus I wanted to escape the dull head throbbing I've been dealing with over the last 7 days. But this fatigue is out of this world! I was sitting at work and needed to nod off. I walk down hallways and immediately want to lay down because my whole being is worn out. I don't want to do ANYTHING but sleep.

I'm also feeling low aches in my ovaries so at least I know these shots are doing something. My only concern is I wonder if I've been under-monitored by my doctor. When I went in mid-last week I was told to come back on Monday. That's almost 5 days of not being monitored and I thought monitoring had to occur much more often. I was also told not to take the Ganirelix until instructed. Ok, makes sense. But I don't have too many injections of Bravelle and Menopur left and ain't I supposed to inject with those vials and add Ganirelix? Hell if I know. What if I have to take these shots beyond the amount of vials I have? All these questions, can't stress myself. Even with these concerns I'm feeling surprisingly chill. I have already decided that if this cycle doesn't go my way I'm leaving this RE and go with another that's highly recommended for older women going through IVF. Gonna just roll along and see what Monday brings.

Headaches

I have had a dull headache now for the past 3 days that I believe is a side effect of these injections. All I want to do is sleep to escape the throbbing because pills aren't helping & I don't want to take too many. And if I sleep I may forget to do the injection, which surprisingly I almost have at least 3 times. You would think that since this is what I need to do to get pregnant it'd be foremost on my mind.

I will say that I have become quite the pro with these injections. The only mistake I made was when I removed the Q-cap I was supposed to put on the smaller 27G needle to then do the injection. Instead I put back on the original (long) syringe needle that was, like 5 inches long. When I did the injection the needle almost came through on the other side of my skin. Not pretty...

Signing off, computer light's making my head hurt worse. Good times!

So Many Vials...

Per doctor instructions now that I'm off BCP I had to wait for AF to arrive before I could start the Bravelle and Menopur injections, and she came first thing this morning.  Thank God because I'm ready to get this started!

I had my injectibles set up from the night before so I'd be ready to go. I reviewed the injection guide over and over but still had it on hand in case I needed to refer to it. I also saw videos on Youtube to help me visualize all the mixing and switching of syringe needles. So many thank you's to those women for so sharing so openly. I was prescribed 225 units (3 vials) of Bravelle and 75 units (1 vial) of Menopur. So I had to make certain I had the proper vials on hand including the sodium chloride (water), even got a little OCD by reading/re-reading/re-re-reading vial labels before I got the show on the road.

Wiped the top of the vials with alcohol, withdrew 1 mL of water, got vials and injected/withdrew the solution, screwed off the Q-Cap and put on a 27G needle, cleaned skin with alcohol, put in needle at a 90 degree angle, injected, held for 5 seconds, withdrew needle, discarded needle -- piece of cake!

This whole process took much longer than the wretched Lupron injections, about 10 minutes, but I think I'll get the hang of it quickly. And the solution did burn a little under the skin. I have to do this morning and night, and I have a follow-up ultrasound later this week to see how I'm doing on this dosage. Then the Ganirelix!

Ooh I'm praying these injections are successful, that (Lupron hiccup aside) there are healthy, quality eggs to retrieve. God willing: IVF, next stop!

Google Fast

The countdown to shooting myself back up begins!  I had another ultrasound today, and I also had a baseline blood draw.  Now that I am off BCP (again) as of yesterday I just await AF, which should come by Saturday.  Then I can start with injections of Bravelle and Menopur.  Since I haven't been taking Lupron I was instead put on Ganirelix.  Antagonist protocol.  I didn't even know what that protocol meant so of course I've been on the internet tonight playing med school resident.

Which brings me to the downside.  I could have asked my doctor more questions like what are the rates of success with this protocol vs. any other but it's like I didn't want to hear any bad news / low odds / longshot, etc.  Not the smartest way to go about this but maybe I start injections and see how they work (and hopefully how well they work)... so like a fool I'm searching 'antagonist success IVF' reading how it may result in lower pregnancy rates vs. long lupron protocol.  Wow, great.  Got the bad news I was trying to avoid from the damn doctor.  But it also may be better with poor responders, and since this is my first cycle I have no idea in what category I may reside.  Plus who knows how I'll respond given my high FSH/low AMH.  And I'm not even going to touch the great time I had reading about egg quality and egg quantity and cancelled cycles.  The internet is the devil.

I have been realistic about the odds since embarking on TTC as an SMBC and have tried to not let some of the worries deter me from doing this on my own.  I'm grateful I'm a praying optimist or else I'd get my Ciroc and call it a night.  And please let this mercury retrograde wrap itself up right quick!  Alas, what else can I do but begin, back up off Google, and give it to God.

Allergic to Lupron!

As I'm driving home from work yesterday my bottom lip suddenly felt more plump than normal. Thought it was my mind playing tricks because yesterday the heat was set on cremate.  Then I get home and look in the mirror -- face looked puffy.  I was like, what the hell, ok, no problem. Sometimes my cheeks get round after I eat (hadn't eaten for at least a couple of hours but whatever).  I started talking on the phone later and realized my speech wasn't sounding right because my tongue felt a tad thick. I finally perused deep into the Lupron side effects beyond hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness.

Under SEEK IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION it read 'an allergic reaction is unlikely... symptoms include swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue...'. You gotta be kidding me.

So I called my doctor's office first thing this morning and spoke to one of the nurses.  My biggest concern was that this month's cycle would be pushed back as they find another suppression drug.  But alas, a new plan for Plan B(aby)! I have to get back on BCP (did I mention I threw the rest in the garbage after I took what I thought was the last one yesterday?) and stay on them until my next ultrasound in about a week, then I can start stimming as per my IVF plan.  I will likely be put on some other drug, starts with a G but I couldn't process the full name.  Off to CVS for BCP!  Still on track, thank you, God!

Ciao, BCP

That's it!  After months on BCP + baby aspirin I'm finally done!  I put on a few extra pounds being on BCP but was finally able to get back in better shape just a few weeks ago.  I'll continue to take baby aspirin daily given the benefits but I am relieved to say it's a BCP wrap.  Lupron's steady as she goes & syringe-ing went much better this morning (thanks for the tip, SmartOneKym!)... now I await AF & the next step in less than a couple of weeks is to begin stimming with Bravelle & Menopur + 5 units of Lupron.  Man, I'm moving right along... wow.  Alas, time to make nasty wheatgrass (oh, I'm going all out this cycle).

Edit: Of course all was going way too blissful -- just noticed that I should be injecting Lupron in the PM!