The countdown to shooting myself back up begins! I had another ultrasound today, and I also had a baseline blood draw. Now that I am off BCP (again) as of yesterday I just await AF, which should come by Saturday. Then I can start with injections of Bravelle and Menopur. Since I haven't been taking Lupron I was instead put on Ganirelix. Antagonist protocol. I didn't even know what that protocol meant so of course I've been on the internet tonight playing med school resident.
Which brings me to the downside. I could have asked my doctor more questions like what are the rates of success with this protocol vs. any other but it's like I didn't want to hear any bad news / low odds / longshot, etc. Not the smartest way to go about this but maybe I start injections and see how they work (and hopefully how well they work)... so like a fool I'm searching 'antagonist success IVF' reading how it may result in lower pregnancy rates vs. long lupron protocol. Wow, great. Got the bad news I was trying to avoid from the damn doctor. But it also may be better with poor responders, and since this is my first cycle I have no idea in what category I may reside. Plus who knows how I'll respond given my high FSH/low AMH. And I'm not even going to touch the great time I had reading about egg quality and egg quantity and cancelled cycles. The internet is the devil.
I have been realistic about the odds since embarking on TTC as an SMBC and have tried to not let some of the worries deter me from doing this on my own. I'm grateful I'm a praying optimist or else I'd get my Ciroc and call it a night. And please let this mercury retrograde wrap itself up right quick! Alas, what else can I do but begin, back up off Google, and give it to God.