Best Friends

The Fourth of July is one of my favorite days of the year, but this year it's unexpectedly been the hardest. I bawled this morning over the realization that one of my dearest dogs isn't getting any better. He's 13 years old, has arthritis and plenty of lameness, has congestive heart failure, and now he's vomiting at least once a day. Strange as this sounds, I've been hoping that he would just pass away in his sleep because the thought of having to take him in to be euthanized is unfathomable. When he threw up again this morning the reality of his decline hit me so hard. No matter what I do, no supplements or orthopedic foam is changing the fact that there's nothing I can do to make him better.

My family took in two dogs of the same litter 13 years ago & my life hasn't been the same since. I raised these dogs, I love these dogs. They truly are my best friends. I wonder how the other dog will be alone without his brother. I already had it in mind that neither dog would make it to the fall (the cold would be absolute hell on their joints) but with one so much sicker than the other I didn't think that his time would come so soon. I told my parents this morning (they live out of state), and they were so very sad, kept saying, "The poor thing." When they moved they did a swift job of it, and because they left like thieves in the night the least sickly dog has separation anxiety -- he doesn't let me out of his sight at all, sweet crazy dog! My parents still feel guilty about it and now that one of the dogs might have to be euthanized they wish they could see him one last time.

And wouldn't you know that as infirm as he is as soon as I motioned that it was time for a walk that sick old dog popped up like a puppy and was prancing circles around me! Lame, in pain, none of that matters when he wants to get to the out of doors. Contradicting moments like that, that's what makes this so hard. Given that it's 100 degrees outside I thought I would just take them to the corner and back (he can't stand a tip toe outside just to come back in five minutes later). So we went the whole way around the hot *ss block because if these are his last days I want him to have it all. When we came in he plopped his happy self in front of the central air vent and is knocked out. I was thinking that Monday would be the day but I'm going to pray on it. I don't want him suffering, I also don't want to put him down before the twinkle in his eyes go out. Lord, I don't know what to do.

I've been giving him dog aspirin at night for his joints and I feel that's contributing to his stomach upset. I'm gonna cut that out and just keep them both on their morning prescription arthritis medicine (Previcox, best drug ever) + other joint supplements.

On happier news I am 8 weeks and a day! Twins are progressing beautifully and now I've been given the directive to find an OB. I haven't posted in so long because this fatigue is something else! Once I visit a few blogs I hardly have energy enough to write. Now I set an alarm to wake me at night to take my PIO shot! No appetite, nothing appeals to me at all. No morning sickness either aside from a few queasy moments here and there.

It would be a such a happy miracle if my puppies were around in 7 more months. God willing, I would love for my babies to meet them. But God also knows that I'm glad for each day with these best friends of mine.