It's been a surreal past few days! I feel the same but the world looks different, almost like I took the red pill & can see the Matrix. For real, I can't explain it.
My beta on Friday was 742 & today it's 1985, which the nurse said was good. All this doubling business is lost on me. As long as the numbers are moving in the right direction is all I care about. I also saw the sac today... looking at the monitor it was hard to believe I was looking at my own innards with the little bit of life starting there.
When I got my BFP I texted the same pic I posted here on Friday to my mother. Bless her heart, when I called her & told her to look at the picture she truly didn't understand what she was looking at. I used a digital EPT & she looked at it, reading aloud she said with her heavy accent, "Eee pee tee? What is that? I don't know what that is, Eee pee tee?" Now, in her elderly defense I don't even think she knows any brands of HPTs, it was a minor miracle that she was even able to open the text.
I told her to forget about Eee pee tee, just look to the left of the pic, look at the word in the window. "Pregnant? What? Who?" The lady forgot I was getting my results on Friday. Awesome! She's not the most emotional person on the planet but she genuinely was happy, albeit with a bit of cautious warning about keeping quiet for the time being. I'm not telling my father until I make it to the second trimester, God willing. He has no idea about my TTC, let alone as a single woman. He wants his kids to be happy so I know that he will accept it when the time comes, not sure if he'll grasp the concept of donor sperm & artificial insemination. Both my parents are foreign & this whole process is not grasp-able for him. Told two of my dearest friends who know about my SMC goal & they were ecstatic. Got an appointment with my acupuncturist on Saturday & hugged her like crazy. She said I should start coming twice a week & I go back tomorrow (& Thursday).
I feel guilty not telling one of my best friends but, bless her, she can worry the salt off a cracker. I don't mind keeping this a secret, especially since it's so very early. But I'm surprisingly calm, happy. I trust God with all this, there's a peace in that.
There were a couple times during the 2WW that, in retrospect, could have been signs that this cycle worked. On Tuesday, the same day I broke down & took the HPT, I had a quickly passing nausea after sipping on a cup of my decaf. It tasted funny & made my stomach a little queasy. I didn't even finish it & dismissed the feeling as a side effect of the PIO shots. Except that it was on 11dp3dt when HCG begins to be secreted according to my trusty chart. Perhaps? And on that Friday as I was walking to my RE's office to get my beta blood drawn the smell of the city was pungent. This same walk I've taken for ages all of a sudden had a smell that was almost unbearable. Now this city has its funky moments but not on that Friday morning. Maybe a sign?
The only thing that's different about how I feel now is I have zits all over my face. Began towards the end of last week. Just finished a whitehead popping marathon. Zits along with fatigue. Both may still be attributed to the PIO. I still have to continue the shots & absolutely don't mind at all. Doing the shots in my *ss now may take about 5 minutes with hardly any blood. Shooting anywhere above the crack's a winner! I'm also intentionally trying to drink lots of water... it's hot as hell (finally!) but the nurse also told me to + she said I have to keep up protein.
I'm still not quite sure how they calculate the days, forgot to ask today. 4w3d, maybe? I go back on Thursday & I'll ask then.
(Thanks, friends, for your wonderful congratulations :-)