God is Good, All the Time

My faith is strong but my feelings were running the gamut. I, finally, with all the seriousness in my heart, on my drive to work I had to ask God for strength to get me through these last few days. As soon as I did, I felt a peace, a relief.

Even with my faith & optimism, sometimes negativity creeps in & eventually it makes a home in my head. The same negativity where doubt about embarking on this adventure leads me to believe this will never work. And I just like that I forget that I have more power, more courage than I give myself credit for. I force myself to smile until I feel it from the heart because it's the best, cheapest therapy I can find (then I crack up because I imagine I must look crazy, hard to feel bad through real laughter). I ask God for strength to move me through these moments. And I receive it. The loop of self-doubt interrupts for a sec & I can feel God's grace comfort me. And I'm asking for strength all day long because it's a constant crumble-rebuild-crumble-rebuild.

I remember that He's brought me through everything, has led me to TTC on my own, & certainly wouldn't leave me when I need Him most.

I'm incredibly spiritual & thank God for that because church & me don't get along too tough. I feel God's blessings & direction, I have to remind myself that no matter what I'll be ok.

I pray for peace & blessings for family, friends, pets & people I meet & people I don't know. I think that should cover everybody on planet Earth. I'm praying for Evelyn, my 2ww cycle-sister-buddy, whose support & resilience will be such a wonderful example for the children she'll carry & raise. I pray for all IFs, SMBCs & for anyone who has love to share with children borne of us, God willing.

Thank you, God, in advance.

(And please take a moment to pray for Jen, in early pregnancy with twins & who was having contractions as early as yesterday.)